There's this one more day I have to get through. I'm getting ready to go to work and my stomach is in a knot. I feel like hurling. I will work until midnight, drive home, take a shower, try to eat something and then get back in the car to pick my son up and take him to st Louis for the surgery. This day is already terrible. I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream. I need to be tending the goats. There's 12 pregnant nanny's out there wondering where the feed is. My daughter came down yesterday and she helped me catch up one that is limping badly. I have not been out to the barn yet today. First time in my life I don't want to be in the barn. I'm afraid that the goat is dead. That's just how I feel like my life is going. How sorry and pathetic is that? I'm feeling pretty beat down right now.