Saturday, August 30, 2014

sweltering heat, heavy heart and reflections

Its taken me a couple days to get it right in my head. The news hit my heart hard. Almost surprising in how much it hurt. It's been such a long time since I actually had the time to reflect on how much I actually love my friends. Admiration, devotion, trust, comrades in arms so to speak. All traveling the same homesteading path I am, each in their own way, sharing their knowledge, experience, triumphs and failures with me on a personal level. More than just a few lines in blog comments, actual connections either in person or via telephone or the hours in Wolfes chatroom, spanning the long distances between us all. Late night calls lasting hours into the wee morning, laughter, tears, joy and pain, we share it all. Each of us joined together by our overlapping ideals, goals and motivations. No truer friends could ever be found. When the whole world falls apart around you, these friends were always there, day or night, to pick you up, urge you to hold on and keep fighting. Plenty of times in the past few years, I could have just chucked it all in and quit if it were not for these same friends.

Now, in the midst of life finally starting to go decently for me, I get news of the loss of someone I considered a dear friend. A lady that consoled me during some of the roughest times of a terrible marriage, thru the betrayal of my confidence by people I thought were friends, thru my divorce and all the following struggles, Scifichick was there. Even while she was fighting her own battles, trying to achieve her lifes dreams, she still had time to cheer me up and pester me about those dang rabbits. Never was there more giggles and outright joyful laughter than when Sci and me would get going on the phone. I would often have to go hunt the phone charger cord down before the phone would die so we could keep talking. Every spring the betting would start on how long it would take me to actually break down and start seed. Of course, I never make it to the actually seed starting date, I always jump the gun. Sci would just laugh and say I knew you wouldnt make it! Now, I feel like I have a hole next to my heart. I will never forget you Scifi, you were one of a kind.

7 comments:

  1. mmpaints - i know the hole that you are feeling and i know that Sci was very dear to you. it has taken me a few days to finally clear my head. i just wrote a last post to her and at the bottom i mention, her, Phelan, you, Herbalpagan and Fel and me as being that ""core group" who were always there for each other. i feel very confident in saying that you were a true hero to her and i, you and Phelan and Herbalpagan. we all learned the now infamous "mmpaints baggy method" from you. i know how much it hurts and i just want you to know that i am here for you.

    and i am so glad to hear that things are starting to look up for you.

    your friend, from a million years ago,
    kymber

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  2. Popping by to express my condolences to you. I didn't get to meet or talk (on the phone) to SciFiChick but I always enjoyed her blog and commenting back and forth. I'm trying to find those that were her good friend and make sure I say how sorry I am. The blogging world lost a good one. Hang in there!!

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  3. Of course, I came late to knowing her. I always enjoyed her blog and the banter. Yes, I will miss her, too. Sorry for your immense loss.

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  4. I'm missing her something fierce!!!! I know you do too...My heart is so heavy.Please tell Mars how sorry we are..

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  5. I will miss those late night chats in Wolfe's chat room. We sure did have a time. She will be missed very much. It won't be the same.

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  6. Wait, what?! Can you email me?
    razzintaz@gmail.com

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  7. MMPaints,

    I picked up your blog through Kymber's blog. We both have common friends, and I thought I would stop by an follow your beautiful blog.

    SciFiChick holds a special place in our my hearts, and will be missed dearly.

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Comments always welcome