Okay guys, thank you for the comments and support and all the varied opinions. It's helpful to see what others think and feel, it really does help to see the way thru. I'm not jumping to any surprise or quick draw conclusions, this has been coming on for a few years now. So, I'm working on doing what I need to do for myself, my sanity and my happiness. Life is too short to be stuck with something/someone that makes ya miserable every second of every day. That said, I don't want to give up everything I've built here but, if I can't cover the bills, I won't have much choice on the matter. The fight I'm giving up is trying to hold together something that never existed in the first place, just an illusion of it. The selling of all the animals is due to broken farm equipment I need to feed those animals and without it, will have to buy hay I don't have money for. So it makes sense to sell them instead of letting them stand here and starve, doesn't it?
Now, what's going on here with my little self sustained farm... an old friend emailed me letting me know that the town closest to me wants to set up a farmers market. How perfect is that, eh? This morning I set up downtown for the new farmers market. All I had was some cucumbers pickling size (little bitty ones)and a dozen zucchini. I sold out. Too bad I don't have enough produce coming on to pay that 2 months behind electric bill before the 16th. Eh, no electricity, been there done that. At least I'll get peace and quiet since nobody wants to live here in the dark without even a fan for air circulation but me, LOL. Works out good, eh?
Also working out a deal on a few of the goats I have here. Not as much as I'd like to get from them but at least I won't have to pack them to the auction and sit there all night to get paid.
Everything else is just gonna work out one way or another and life will go on for me, all by myself where nothing and nobody besides me can affect it. I will do my best to keep going like I want to but whatever happens, I'll just deal with it as it comes. I built this out of nothing, I guess I can just do it again someplace else if I have to.